photo: jesse leakeIt was six weeks before theirwedding and Chad and Lisa still had not hired an officiant. Towards the end of our meeting, theconversation turned to Chad’s upcoming Vegas bachelor party weekend.
After Lisa humorously warned himthat nothing better happen, he reassured her with these immortal words: You have nothing to worry about. Nothing’sgoing to happen even if she goes into the bedroom with me.
She? Bedroom? I’m stunned as Lisa slapped him in the arm. Seems Chad’s boys told him that they’re goingto get him a stripper. He didn’t want astripper, but how could he tell them that? He didn’t want to ruin their fun and besides, it’s tradition!
By the time our conversation ended,I wasn’t even sure if Chad and Lisa were going to have a ceremony for me toofficiate!
Okay, so I get “it”—Chad wants topreserve his image with his boys, but at what cost? Although Lisa & Chad eventually invitedme to officiate their ceremony, I declined. Simply put, I thought they had too many unresolved issues with notenough communication skills in place.
I’ve frequently written here andelsewhere that communication is at the heart of your relationship. A cliché, I know, BUT it’s true!
That Lisa found out about Chad’splans while at a meeting to discuss the ceremony, speaks volumes about thequality of their conversations. That hewasn’t able to tell his supposed best friends what he wanted and did not want,speaks volumes about his ability to assert himself. And without being able to express what it isyour thinking, feeling, wanting, needing, it’s going to be hard to offer an “IDo” that is authentic, confident, and that expresses your willingness to DO allthat is implied in that “I Do.”
If you can’t be honest with yourpartner before your wedding day, there’s no reason to believe that you’ll beable to be honest the day after your wedding day.
Are there things you haven’t toldyour partner? Topics you’ve beenreluctant to bring up? What are youafraid of? Now’s the time to talk!
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