photo: ryan brenizer-->What my marriage taught me is that real love is only what yougive. That's all. Love is not "out there," waiting for you. It is inyou. In your own heart, in what you are willing to give of it. We are allcapable of love, but few of us have the courage to do it properly. You can takea person's love and waste it. But you are the fool. . .Love is joy. Those wholove, no matter what indignities, what burdens they carry, are always full ofjoy. Recipes for a Perfect Marriage
I recently came across this quoteand presumed it was another sappy sentiment on love and commitment, but Istopped when I read the phrase, “You can take a person’s love and wasteit.” I’ve never really thought about howI could “waste” someone’s love. Isuppose I’ve focused on how a person could waste my time but not how I couldwaste their love.
What does it mean to waste aperson’s love? Kind of a no-brainerquestion, but still I’ve been reflecting on it. The dictionary definition for “waste” is: to use, consume, or spend thoughtlessly orcarelessly; to pass without being put to use.
If you think about it, at the heartof your vows is the promise not to waste each other’s love––not to treat eachother thoughtlessly or carelessly and to always put the love your partneroffers you to good use.
I like that notion of actuallyputting each other’s love to good purpose. While love makes no demands, in order to experience love fully you haveto believe that you’re worthy of love. And to receive the love of another person is to feel energized. If you feel loved, then you have to feelenergetic in wanting to do some good, to make less bruised this crazy world ofours.
Love is always offered in a spiritof hope––hope that despite whatever messiness there is in the beloved’s life,she or he, because of our love, will be able to make sense of it all and createa meaningful life.
To believe in your partner’s loveis to believe that their love speaks truth to any of your fears.
If you waste your partner’s love,you’re wasting an opportunity to become more fully you and so it is true foryour partner and your love.
I think that in this exhaustingworld of ours, to love mindfully and generously is a wildly brave thing todo. So go wild!
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